Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I need a hoe opinion
go on
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
