I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
