help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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