How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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