Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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