I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
