I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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