things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
