I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
