what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
