Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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