Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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