Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
