I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
