puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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