imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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