3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
