dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
