Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
