she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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