its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
