Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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