I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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