is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
