You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize