Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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