Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
