Nicole vs. Life
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
