i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize