Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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