My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
