I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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