i just had sex bonerless
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
