I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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