I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
