Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
