It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
