my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize