it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Randomize
