I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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