i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
