He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
