Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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