Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
