i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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