He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
