Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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