i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
