oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
