My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
