were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
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