Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
