Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Randomize
