four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize