Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
You're like the curious george of whores
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Alive.
So much puke
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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