Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
