I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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