I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
