I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
