apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
