mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize