do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
