You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
