I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
