Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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