That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
